Is ADHD a Mental Illness — well…

technically some brainiacs  may want to label it that way.

I just can’t get him to be quiet!

I’m a bit skittish about labeling people.  Labels tend to follow a person for the rest of their  life.

Many parents with ADD/ADHD children have put them on the social security rolls.

When my son was young I refused to do that. I knew if I had, that label would have followed him the rest of his life. I just wouldn’t couldn’t do that to him.

What’s the purpose of labeling ADD/ADHD a mental disease or disorder?

I really don’t know.

I had a young man who has been diagnosed with adult ADD/ADHD,  comment here on this blog.

He was a bit irritated because he felt I was painting my son and other people like my son, as a freak. This young man said–

There are a number of ways to deal with adult ad/hd… and we aren’t just some freaks… the way you illustrate it in your blog. You probably won’t agree with how i feel about your post…I’m surprised my underachieving ability is able to write a coherent thought, but here I am.

I understand; you want a sounding board to scream out your frustrations with dealing w/ adhd people… awesome!

Don’t bill your blog as some place people can talk about adhd and grow when all you do is COMPLAIN.

I’m not doing that. And, I’m sorry he felt as if I was.

I’m writing about how life is living with my son who happens to be ADD/ADHD.

If writing about sleepless nights, loudness, mouthiness, frustration [his], throwing things, breaking things etc… is complaining then, so be it, I’m complaining.

How would this young man feel about the article I just read: some in the psychiatric community want to label ADD/ADHD as a mental illness?

From ADD/ADHD RESOURCES

Although my thinking might bring the wrath of the ADHD community down on me, hear me out. To me, it seems appropriate to call ADHD a mental illness. Years ago it might have been reasonable to separate the severely abnormal behaviors seen in the “mentally ill” (i.e. when a person became psychotic) from the lesser abnormal behaviors, seen in those with ADHD, but our new knowledge about the brain eliminates this distinction for me.

I don’t think he’d like what was said here either.

My whole point to this blog is to vent my frustrations. Also, to show how someone like my son acts on a daily basis.

To show that people like him are difficult to have a relationship with.

Like, last night, for me, it was another sleepless night. He had company in my house at 3:00AM which, I didn’t appreciate.

So, I tried to discuss with him how this action was disrespectful.  Well, that was like talking to a remote control in mid-switch.

His mouth blabbered [it’s almost as if he’s speaking another language] as fast as his brain — the dog listens better than he does.

He just won’t put the shut with the up!

I believe that if he would go to counseling and receive the help that he needs life would be better for the both of us.

Right now, I make sure he eats balanced meals and he, on his own, does go out and exercise.

Things are better than they were but, we’ve got a long way to go.

ADD/ADHD or Bipolar

Now there’s a question.

ADHD OR BIPOLAR

Because ADHD and bipolar disorder do share some symptoms and sometimes coexist, children like Alex are commonly misdiagnosed. ADHD is a more common condition in children and often the first thing a doctor thinks of.

Which could he have. With adults it’s possible to be both.

“An adult with bipolar disorder can also have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, better known as ADHD. That’s what Timothy Wilens, MD, and colleagues at Massachusetts General Hospital found after careful study of 51 adults diagnosed with ADHD.” Read More —

Adult ADHD

With my son he’s up and down up and down. Some psychiatrist believe it could be Bipolar disorder. Many of them believe that ADD/ADHD is over-diagnosed.

If those educated in the field are at polar-opposites [pardon the pun] between the two then, how are we, as parents, suppose to know.

We’re trusting the professionals to know what they’re talking about.

When my son was in elementary school I had him to three different psychiatrist and they’ve all agreed that he is ADHD.

Well that’s wonderful, we knew what the problem was, dealing with it was the hurdle I never leaped over.

Me, as his mother believe that right now,  he could be suffering from bipolar disorder too.

When he hits bottom and is depressed, no one can live with him. He barks at you, talks nasty to you, throws things and sneaks and self medicates.

When he’s on a high, you still have a hard time living with him. He doesn’t bark at people as much but he still throws things, plays tons of tricks on you, and definitely doesn’t sleep much.

Sounds bipolar to me but, what do I know.

Right now, he’s up. He’s going to graduate from school and is doing an internship.

I’m so proud of him. He stayed on task and got through this course. He did very, very well.

He had some problems relating to the other students but, he controlled himself and dealt with the situation.

He’s feeling pretty good about himself as he should. Most importantly, he knows I’m his biggest fan.

His Brain Switches Like a Remote Control

ding, ding, ding

You can see him leave the planet. It’s as if he’s headed out towards the galaxy far, far away. It’s as if he’s rocketing up, up and away so he can swing from the rings of Saturn or orbit Neptune or Jupiter or some unknown planet.

I’m serious!

James’ eyes cut back and forth like an arcade game ball. You know, when you push the buttons and the paddles connect with little ball then, you hear a  “ding, ding, ding” while the little white ball goes back and forth back and forth.

Well, when my son’s eyes perform this amazing feat, means that “James has left the building” and his brain is switching channels so fast that you want to snatch the remote and take out the batteries.

I know you know what I mean. Picture your husband or boyfriend with a remote in his hand.  Yet, he constantly switches the channels looking for something to watch even though there’s already perfectly good program you’re watching.

Can you honestly say this doesn’t bug you?

Try living with a human remote. One minute they’re planning one activity then WHAM! all of a sudden they’re on to another subject.

This is a constant occurrence — no breaks.

Can you say that you wouldn’t be living in a continued state of frustration?

I can’t — I’m always frustrated and irritable

Yet, people like him are very intelligent. They have above average intelligence but, are under achievers.

Read  ADD/ADHD

These are suppose to be my Golden years — I didn’t know Gold rusted!

*Sigh* I Could Cry; He Never Stays on Task

It never fails! James can’t stay on task no matter what.

When there’s a bump in the road of life he doesn’t hurdle over it, he turns around to look for some place to hide.

I’ve told him over and over again. If plan A doesn’t work go to plan B and if that doesn’t work go to plan C. If you have to go through the whole alphabet do  it until you get to where you’re going.

My poor guy is so frustrated with school he’s depressed. All I can do is be there for him.

This is what’s happening; James (my son) enrolled in school to become a Certified Medical Assistant. He has gone all the way through the course and is about to graduate.

Now, he’s doing his Exsternship at some lab.  Feelings of frustration are piling up.

He thinks he knows nothing and is blaming the school. He says the school hasn’t taught him a thing and now he’s feeling inadequate.

Sure, he could be right. They school may not have taught him anything but, if his other  classmates are somewhat succeeding so can he.

Now, he wants to go to another school.

I’ve asked and pleaded with him to go get help. If he would go see someone they’d be able to teach him how to cope with the everyday pressures of life.

ADHD adults have a very difficult time in school and in the work place. These types of people are different.

People KNOW that they are different and don’t understand how their minds work.

They don’t understand that ADD/ADHD brains flip around  as if someone is holding a remote and constantly changing the channel.

I could just cry! My heart hurts for him. I can’t force him to do anything now that he’s grown.

I read at ADHD Central dot com that most ADD/ADHD adults NEVER seek treatment. They live their lives frustrated and depressed. This  is my son.

“Some adults with ADHD, however, have spent years going from one job to another, feeling as if they could never quite “get it together.”  Some have found ways to self-medicate, including caffeine or illegal substances.  Some live in despair, wondering why their life seems hopeless.” READ MORE

Today, he’s refusing to go to the lab. He thinks that they are treating him differently than his other classmate that’s there.

He wants to give up when he’s so close to being done.

*Sigh* I feel like crying…I really do.

No sleep, no sleep NO SLEEP!

First, let me apologize for the long lag between posts.  It’s not that I don’t have a lot to say, it’s because my health issues seem to get in the way.

It’s difficult for healthy people to deal with a person with ADHD. Can you imagine what it’s like for someone with their own issues to deal with these busy people.

My body requires SLEEP, lots and lots of sleep. I’m disabled, I have a whole laundry list of ailments that require REST.

When I don’t get that rest I become a maniacal predator who wants to gnaw on anyone that moves.

But my son, NO! his brain never ever shuts off. He stays up all night. Sometimes he stays up days at a time.

I realize that people in his age group tend to be night owls. They sleep all day and stay up all night. Then, they have the audacity to try and go to work or school.

I don’t understand how they are able to concentrate. Without proper rest your body becomes like that of a drunk. Disorientated, forgetful, and woozy. There’s no way they can think straight and be productive in a work-place or at school.

HELLO! young people, your body says it needs the rest. What part of that concept is not understood.

Well, guess what, since my adult son lives with ME and he’s up ALL hours of the night, guess who’s up too. ME!

Last night or should I say EARLY this morning, my son was up roaming around. He was slamming doors and cupboards.

He came in my room and asked  “Mom, what are you doing”

to which I replied “James, my eyes were closed and my mouth was open, what do you think I was doing?”

Then he asked “why can’t you sleep?”

In my household it’s a continuous battle to get quality sleep.

It gets so bad for my son that he self-medicates. He takes my Vicodin (I now hide it) then drinks a couple of Beers. Next thing you know he’s snoring so loud it scares the dog.

The next morning you can’t get him up.

I just read on the ADDitude website that they are now just understanding the link between ADD/ADHD and sleep.

These people who suffer from this disorder are insomniacs. Well, I could have told them that!

Not only are THEY insomniacs they make the rest of the household insomniacs.

Here’s an article on ADD/ADHD Sleep Battles

I love my son but, he’s wearing on my nerves!

Till next time…get some rest! I won’t!

I Can’t Stand the Mouthiness!

This isn’t me but, she’s got my feelings down to a “tee”

He’s 28 years old and mouths off like a preteen.

Sometimes, I just want to rear back and POW!

He doesn’t care how others feel. It’s all about him and his tiny world.

How can an adult with ADHD control themselves when they think nothing’s wrong? He’s okay but the rest of the world is off their rockers.

Most ADHD/ADD sufferers have more than one mental/learning problem.  The problem is getting it diagnosed early enough in life to deal with it.

In my case, the other problem wasn’t diagnosed and still hasn’t been.

All I know; my son’s people skill issues are severely flawed. He can’t keep friends. No one wants to be around a mouthy disrespectful know-it-all.  He’s come home with the snot beat out of him. What do I do…what do I do.

I don’t even want to be around him. I’d like to pick up something and deck him with it. Yet, I’m his Mom and can’t leave him to fend for himself.  He can’t take care of himself.

Not all people who suffer with ADHD/ADD are like my son. I know they can function somewhat normally but, oh, boy — I’ve got a doozy! He says he’s always angry, especially with me. I know he’s angry with me. He’s angry because I won’t cow-tow to his wishes.

This is my house, I’m Queen “B” around here and there’s no King.

I’m so very, very tired.

Here’s something I found on the net which, some what, addresses personal and work relationships for people with ADHD/ADD — GOOGLE BOOK ADHD/ADD

ADHD/ADD, Adult, Mental Health, Mental disorders

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Sleep and ADHD/ADD…yeah right!

Whether the person who has ADHD/ADD is an adult or a child, sleep is fleeting.

From my experience, the person affected is just as busy in their sleep as they are awake.

I’m listening to my son now and he’s having a wrestling match and many conversations in his sleep.

I’m a firm believer in getting enough sleep. Sleep is the body’s natural healer. When interrupted, the healing process is flawed.

No wonder my son is a grouch and hard to deal with, he’s not fully rested. He can’t and won’t go to sleep at night. Sometimes he’s up for days. When he’s up then I’m up. He figures since he isn’t sleeping the rest of the house shouldn’t either.

I’m tired!

Read More about ADHD SLEEP

adhd, add, sleep

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ADHD and Substance Abuse

Yes, this does happen. It has happened with my son.

He’s a pill popper and beer drinker, all at the same time.

Drugs mixed with alcohol is a horrible combination.

Here’s an article I found ADHD & Substance Abuse.

If it’s not one thing putting gray in our hair it’s another.

ADHD, Substance abuse

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When we just can’t take any more!

He’s BACK from swinging through the rings of Saturn

What do we do.

Me, I actually screamed out to God. “Lord I just can’t take any more!”

For those of you who don’t believe in God, what do you do?

I prayed and asked for forgiveness and prayed and asked for forgiveness, over and over and over.

I thought about things to do to him that no mother should ever even consider.

It brought tears to my eyes when I thought them and still does just remembering what insidious things had broken loose in my head.

I haven’t written on this Blog for over a year.  It’s not because I didn’t want to, it’s because my ADHD man/child has a tendency to come in and look over my shoulder when I’m writing.

So much has happened this last year.

My son, got involved with drugs and very bad people.  With his actions, I myself, turned into someone I didn’t like.

I’m a strong-willed woman. Over the years raising my son, I had to toughen up.  Little did I know that when he became grown, life became tougher.

I’ve begged and pleaded with him to go for counseling.  There are support groups out there for people like him. I almost had him convinced until he got himself arrested.  He spent a couple of weeks in jail. Needless to say when he was released he didn’t want to talk about support groups or any type of structured organizations that would stress making a change in his life.

My son had been coming home in the wee hours of the morning stoned/drunk. He’d wake me up and be very verbally abusive. Me, being as tough as I am would sit still for any type of abuse.

So, out came my club. Yes, my club.  It got ugly and I don’t really want to get into what happened [on numerous occasions] let’s just say the police were called. I called the police and they threatened to arrest me!

One night my son came home around 4’oclock in the morning. He had been beaten up. I couldn’t get him to go to emergency so, I wound up nursing him.

That was the turning point for him. He got tired of being jumped by very nasty people.

He said “Mom, I just don’t seem to be able to get along with people” All I could do was look at him.  He finally understood that his personality and his condition tends to make life hard on him.

There’s more to our story but I want to go on and post some thoughts from a website I found.

The website is called Adult ADD Strengths.

In short it talks about 10 Ways to Manage Adult ADHD

1. ADHD Coaching.
2. ADHD Medication.
3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
4. ADHD Support Groups
5. Adequate Diet
6. Exercise
7. Learning to Slow down and Stop
8. Meditation
9. Tutors or Educational Psychologists
10. Professional Business and Personal Help

Right now my son is attending school. I was thrilled when he himself went and enrolled.  I’ll be posting more of my adventures now that he’s gone in the evenings.

So, stay tuned for more.

adhd, adult add

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For Distraught Parents…

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything so, please forgive my lag on writing. It seems I’ve been naughty not writing in any of my blogs this month.

I just received a comment from a distraught mother of a two year old wild man! I feel her pain. If she reads this, please know that there is help out there for you.

I’d start with your son’s doctor. Take him and and have the doctor evaluate your little dynamo. If your doctor seems reluctant demand that he/she refers you to a specialist or psychiatrist.

I’d also want family therapy, especially if you’ve got more than one child.

What people don’t understand is that this one little child disrupts the whole family structure.

Really, think about it — if you’ve got more than one child, [let’s say you have four kids] one kid with ADHD can make the other children feel as if they’re outcasts.

Why, because with an ADHD kid, they demand all, if not most, of their parent’s attention. With one child getting most of the attention it’s safe to say that the other children will feel left out. Therefore, it’s IMPERATIVE that the parent(s) get help. Over on my sidebar ===> there’s a partial list of online help.

Sometimes even a spouse will feel left out. Not only will they feel left out, they’ll be angry at the other spouse and the child. This is another reason why the family as a whole needs professional help. Get that help NOW!

In this day and age the computer and the Internet are wonderful tools but, nothing replaces one on one professional help.

I can’t emphasize how important getting help for your special child is. If you don’t get help while they’re young, you’ll wind up living the nightmare I’m living.

I have a 27 year old man living with me who’s hard to handle. Yes, he’s my son and I dearly love him but, there are times when I don’t like him. He still throws things and pesters everything that has breath.

People don’t like dealing with him because he’s irritatingly busy. His favorite past time is to play tricks on people. If I’m in the shower he’ll sneak into my bedroom and sabotage my bed or my cell phone. He’s ALWAYS doing something that drives me nuts.

I’ll reiterate, if you’ve got a child like this get help NOW!