For Distraught Parents…

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything so, please forgive my lag on writing. It seems I’ve been naughty not writing in any of my blogs this month.

I just received a comment from a distraught mother of a two year old wild man! I feel her pain. If she reads this, please know that there is help out there for you.

I’d start with your son’s doctor. Take him and and have the doctor evaluate your little dynamo. If your doctor seems reluctant demand that he/she refers you to a specialist or psychiatrist.

I’d also want family therapy, especially if you’ve got more than one child.

What people don’t understand is that this one little child disrupts the whole family structure.

Really, think about it — if you’ve got more than one child, [let's say you have four kids] one kid with ADHD can make the other children feel as if they’re outcasts.

Why, because with an ADHD kid, they demand all, if not most, of their parent’s attention. With one child getting most of the attention it’s safe to say that the other children will feel left out. Therefore, it’s IMPERATIVE that the parent(s) get help. Over on my sidebar ===> there’s a partial list of online help.

Sometimes even a spouse will feel left out. Not only will they feel left out, they’ll be angry at the other spouse and the child. This is another reason why the family as a whole needs professional help. Get that help NOW!

In this day and age the computer and the Internet are wonderful tools but, nothing replaces one on one professional help.

I can’t emphasize how important getting help for your special child is. If you don’t get help while they’re young, you’ll wind up living the nightmare I’m living.

I have a 27 year old man living with me who’s hard to handle. Yes, he’s my son and I dearly love him but, there are times when I don’t like him. He still throws things and pesters everything that has breath.

People don’t like dealing with him because he’s irritatingly busy. His favorite past time is to play tricks on people. If I’m in the shower he’ll sneak into my bedroom and sabotage my bed or my cell phone. He’s ALWAYS doing something that drives me nuts.

I’ll reiterate, if you’ve got a child like this get help NOW!

 

I’ve got no people.

Please pardon the pun I’ve taken from the tax commercial, I just couldn’t help myself.

There’s nothing that can be more lonely or isolating than being a parent with an ADHD child.

I’ve said it before, it’s vital that parents like this must have a support system outside of family and the established friendship setup.

When you have an ADHD child you quickly learn who your true friends are and yes, this includes family.

When Drew was growing up, our experience with family and friends was a nightmare. Not many of our family members and friends could understand or would try to understand Drew’s disability.

Yes, Drew was wild, I mean he was literally the Tasmanian Devil personified. When people saw us coming they immediately remembered that they had something else to do or there was somewhere they had to be.

 

It’s been days

since I’ve posted here in this blog. My apologies to all. I’ve got 3 other blogs I attend to and business has picked up a bit.

Sometimes I find it hard to write my thoughts with my son around. He still insists that I give him my undivided attention.

It’s hard for me to deal with him. I look at him and see a 26 year old man who acts pubescent.

“Mom, mom, what are you doing?” “Mom, I’m hungry, cook me something” “Mom, where are you going?” “Mom bring home some candy and chips”

He’s wearing on my nerves! He has this look in his eye as if he’s seeing an alien when he talks to me.

I’ll be back to post more about his exploits later.

 

Some HOW, make time for yourself!

Photo by Dominik Gwarek

Never in a million years did I think that time was a precious commodity. Time, time for myself! what was that?

Some days, I’d have to work 10 - 12 hour days then, come home and do the parent thing. When was there time for me? Time to take a quiet soak in a bubble bath, or sit down and read poetry or a book by my favorite fiction writer. I had to wait years for the luxury of quiet time.

Quiet time! Don’t make me laugh! All parents of ADHD kids know that the words quiet or the phrase — time for ones self, isn’t synonymous with an ADHD child. Especially a single parent dealing with this tedious situation. If there are two parents in the household, each one should make sure that the other can take time-outs to gather their thoughts — [so to speak] mentally leave the planet for a while.

I didn’t have that luxury. During Drew’s adolescent years, I couldn’t leave him home alone so, a baby sitter was needed. [Frankly, even when he became a teenager I didn't want to leave him home alone, I'd never know if the house would be left standing when I did. Of course having a baby sitter for a teenager was out of the question so, I naturally, had to take my chances.]

There was only me to carry the load. I’d work all day [night] at the Post Office then come home to take care of my busy little mister. There were times when I couldn’t find the time to sleep.

 

Can you socialize a wildman?

You can? Well, I wish someone would tell me how! Time’s tick, tick, ticking away!
Even Tarzan could be socialized. Although Tarzan was a fictional character, the thought was there, how to socialize someone brought up by apes.

That’s how I felt when I’d take Drew out to a restaurant or to the library, people would look at him and me as if we were a family of apes.

Do you know what it’s like to be in a restaurant and have someone at a table next to you with a child that’s talking loud and banging the forks, and spoons against the plates and glasses? It’s embarrassing!

There were times I wanted to scream “HE’S not a BAD kid, he’s just BUSY! or “I’m not a bad mother, just taxed to the hilt!”