Is ADHD a Mental Illness — well…

technically some brainiacs  may want to label it that way.

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I just can’t get him to be quiet!


I’m a bit skittish about labeling people.  Labels tend to follow a person for the rest of their  life.

Many parents with ADD/ADHD children have put them on the social security rolls.

When my son was young I refused to do that. I knew if I had, that label would have followed him the rest of his life. I just wouldn’t couldn’t do that to him.

What’s the purpose of labeling ADD/ADHD a mental disease or disorder?

I really don’t know.

I had a young man who has been diagnosed with adult ADD/ADHD,  comment here on this blog.

He was a bit irritated because he felt I was painting my son and other people like my son, as a freak. This young man said–

There are a number of ways to deal with adult ad/hd… and we aren’t just some freaks… the way you illustrate it in your blog. You probably won’t agree with how i feel about your post…I’m surprised my underachieving ability is able to write a coherent thought, but here I am.

I understand; you want a sounding board to scream out your frustrations with dealing w/ adhd people… awesome!

Don’t bill your blog as some place people can talk about adhd and grow when all you do is COMPLAIN.

I’m not doing that. And, I’m sorry he felt as if I was.

I’m writing about how life is living with my son who happens to be ADD/ADHD.

If writing about sleepless nights, loudness, mouthiness, frustration [his], throwing things, breaking things etc… is complaining then, so be it, I’m complaining.

How would this young man feel about the article I just read: some in the psychiatric community want to label ADD/ADHD as a mental illness?

From ADD/ADHD RESOURCES

Although my thinking might bring the wrath of the ADHD community down on me, hear me out. To me, it seems appropriate to call ADHD a mental illness. Years ago it might have been reasonable to separate the severely abnormal behaviors seen in the “mentally ill” (i.e. when a person became psychotic) from the lesser abnormal behaviors, seen in those with ADHD, but our new knowledge about the brain eliminates this distinction for me.

I don’t think he’d like what was said here either.

My whole point to this blog is to vent my frustrations. Also, to show how someone like my son acts on a daily basis.

To show that people like him are difficult to have a relationship with.

Like, last night, for me, it was another sleepless night. He had company in my house at 3:00AM which, I didn’t appreciate.

So, I tried to discuss with him how this action was disrespectful.  Well, that was like talking to a remote control in mid-switch.

His mouth blabbered [it’s almost as if he’s speaking another language] as fast as his brain — the dog listens better than he does.

He just won’t put the shut with the up!

I believe that if he would go to counseling and receive the help that he needs life would be better for the both of us.

Right now, I make sure he eats balanced meals and he, on his own, does go out and exercise.

Things are better than they were but, we’ve got a long way to go.

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ADD/ADHD or Bipolar

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Now there’s a question.

ADHD OR BIPOLAR

Because ADHD and bipolar disorder do share some symptoms and sometimes coexist, children like Alex are commonly misdiagnosed. ADHD is a more common condition in children and often the first thing a doctor thinks of.


Which could he have. With adults it’s possible to be both.

“An adult with bipolar disorder can also have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, better known as ADHD. That’s what Timothy Wilens, MD, and colleagues at Massachusetts General Hospital found after careful study of 51 adults diagnosed with ADHD.” Read More —

Adult ADHD

With my son he’s up and down up and down. Some psychiatrist believe it could be Bipolar disorder. Many of them believe that ADD/ADHD is over-diagnosed.

If those educated in the field are at polar-opposites [pardon the pun] between the two then, how are we, as parents, suppose to know.

We’re trusting the professionals to know what they’re talking about.

When my son was in elementary school I had him to three different psychiatrist and they’ve all agreed that he is ADHD.

Well that’s wonderful, we knew what the problem was, dealing with it was the hurdle I never leaped over.

Me, as his mother believe that right now,  he could be suffering from bipolar disorder too.

When he hits bottom and is depressed, no one can live with him. He barks at you, talks nasty to you, throws things and sneaks and self medicates.

When he’s on a high, you still have a hard time living with him. He doesn’t bark at people as much but he still throws things, plays tons of tricks on you, and definitely doesn’t sleep much.

Sounds bipolar to me but, what do I know.

Right now, he’s up. He’s going to graduate from school and is doing an internship.

I’m so proud of him. He stayed on task and got through this course. He did very, very well.

He had some problems relating to the other students but, he controlled himself and dealt with the situation.

He’s feeling pretty good about himself as he should. Most importantly, he knows I’m his biggest fan.

No sleep, no sleep NO SLEEP!

Tired People

First, let me apologize for the long lag between posts.  It’s not that I don’t have a lot to say, it’s because my health issues seem to get in the way.

It’s difficult for healthy people to deal with a person with ADHD. Can you imagine what it’s like for someone with their own issues to deal with these busy people.

My body requires SLEEP, lots and lots of sleep. I’m disabled, I have a whole laundry list of ailments that require REST.

When I don’t get that rest I become a maniacal predator who wants to gnaw on anyone that moves.

But my son, NO! his brain never ever shuts off. He stays up all night. Sometimes he stays up days at a time.

I realize that people in his age group tend to be night owls. They sleep all day and stay up all night. Then, they have the audacity to try and go to work or school.

I don’t understand how they are able to concentrate. Without proper rest your body becomes like that of a drunk. Disorientated, forgetful, and woozy. There’s no way they can think straight and be productive in a work-place or at school.

HELLO! young people, your body says it needs the rest. What part of that concept is not understood.

Well, guess what, since my adult son lives with ME and he’s up ALL hours of the night, guess who’s up too. ME!

Last night or should I say EARLY this morning, my son was up roaming around. He was slamming doors and cupboards.

He came in my room and asked  “Mom, what are you doing”

to which I replied “James, my eyes were closed and my mouth was open, what do you think I was doing?”

Then he asked “why can’t you sleep?”

In my household it’s a continuous battle to get quality sleep.

It gets so bad for my son that he self-medicates. He takes my Vicodin (I now hide it) then drinks a couple of Beers. Next thing you know he’s snoring so loud it scares the dog.

The next morning you can’t get him up.

I just read on the ADDitude website that they are now just understanding the link between ADD/ADHD and sleep.

These people who suffer from this disorder are insomniacs. Well, I could have told them that!

Not only are THEY insomniacs they make the rest of the household insomniacs.

Here’s an article on ADD/ADHD Sleep Battles

I love my son but, he’s wearing on my nerves!

Till next time…get some rest! I won’t!

For Distraught Parents…

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything so, please forgive my lag on writing. It seems I’ve been naughty not writing in any of my blogs this month.

I just received a comment from a distraught mother of a two year old wild man! I feel her pain. If she reads this, please know that there is help out there for you.

I’d start with your son’s doctor. Take him and and have the doctor evaluate your little dynamo. If your doctor seems reluctant demand that he/she refers you to a specialist or psychiatrist.

I’d also want family therapy, especially if you’ve got more than one child.

What people don’t understand is that this one little child disrupts the whole family structure.

Really, think about it — if you’ve got more than one child, [let’s say you have four kids] one kid with ADHD can make the other children feel as if they’re outcasts.

Why, because with an ADHD kid, they demand all, if not most, of their parent’s attention. With one child getting most of the attention it’s safe to say that the other children will feel left out. Therefore, it’s IMPERATIVE that the parent(s) get help. Over on my sidebar ===> there’s a partial list of online help.

Sometimes even a spouse will feel left out. Not only will they feel left out, they’ll be angry at the other spouse and the child. This is another reason why the family as a whole needs professional help. Get that help NOW!

In this day and age the computer and the Internet are wonderful tools but, nothing replaces one on one professional help.

I can’t emphasize how important getting help for your special child is. If you don’t get help while they’re young, you’ll wind up living the nightmare I’m living.

I have a 27 year old man living with me who’s hard to handle. Yes, he’s my son and I dearly love him but, there are times when I don’t like him. He still throws things and pesters everything that has breath.

People don’t like dealing with him because he’s irritatingly busy. His favorite past time is to play tricks on people. If I’m in the shower he’ll sneak into my bedroom and sabotage my bed or my cell phone. He’s ALWAYS doing something that drives me nuts.

I’ll reiterate, if you’ve got a child like this get help NOW!

I’ve got no people.

Please pardon the pun I’ve taken from the tax commercial, I just couldn’t help myself.

There’s nothing that can be more lonely or isolating than being a parent with an ADHD child.

I’ve said it before, it’s vital that parents like this must have a support system outside of family and the established friendship setup.

When you have an ADHD child you quickly learn who your true friends are and yes, this includes family.

When Drew was growing up, our experience with family and friends was a nightmare. Not many of our family members and friends could understand or would try to understand Drew’s disability.

Yes, Drew was wild, I mean he was literally the Tasmanian Devil personified. When people saw us coming they immediately remembered that they had something else to do or there was somewhere they had to be. Continue reading

It’s been days

since I’ve posted here in this blog. My apologies to all. I’ve got 3 other blogs I attend to and business has picked up a bit.

Sometimes I find it hard to write my thoughts with my son around. He still insists that I give him my undivided attention.

It’s hard for me to deal with him. I look at him and see a 26 year old man who acts pubescent.

“Mom, mom, what are you doing?” “Mom, I’m hungry, cook me something” “Mom, where are you going?” “Mom bring home some candy and chips”

He’s wearing on my nerves! He has this look in his eye as if he’s seeing an alien when he talks to me.

I’ll be back to post more about his exploits later.

Some HOW, make time for yourself!

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Photo by Dominik Gwarek

Never in a million years did I think that time was a precious commodity. Time, time for myself! what was that?

Some days, I’d have to work 10 – 12 hour days then, come home and do the parent thing. When was there time for me? Time to take a quiet soak in a bubble bath, or sit down and read poetry or a book by my favorite fiction writer. I had to wait years for the luxury of quiet time.

Quiet time! Don’t make me laugh! All parents of ADHD kids know that the words quiet or the phrase — time for ones self, isn’t synonymous with an ADHD child. Especially a single parent dealing with this tedious situation. If there are two parents in the household, each one should make sure that the other can take time-outs to gather their thoughts — [so to speak] mentally leave the planet for a while.

I didn’t have that luxury. During Drew’s adolescent years, I couldn’t leave him home alone so, a baby sitter was needed. [Frankly, even when he became a teenager I didn’t want to leave him home alone, I’d never know if the house would be left standing when I did. Of course having a baby sitter for a teenager was out of the question so, I naturally, had to take my chances.]

There was only me to carry the load. I’d work all day [night] at the Post Office then come home to take care of my busy little mister. There were times when I couldn’t find the time to sleep. Continue reading