ADHD and Substance Abuse

Yes, this does happen. It has happened with my son.

He’s a pill popper and beer drinker, all at the same time.

Drugs mixed with alcohol is a horrible combination.

Here’s an article I found ADHD & Substance Abuse.

If it’s not one thing putting gray in our hair it’s another.

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When we just can’t take any more!


He’s BACK from swinging through the rings of Saturn

What do we do.

Me, I actually screamed out to God. “Lord I just can’t take any more!”

For those of you who don’t believe in God, what do you do?

I prayed and asked for forgiveness and prayed and asked for forgiveness, over and over and over.

I thought about things to do to him that no mother should ever even consider.

It brought tears to my eyes when I thought them and still does just remembering what insidious things had broken loose in my head.

I haven’t written on this Blog for over a year.  It’s not because I didn’t want to, it’s because my ADHD man/child has a tendency to come in and look over my shoulder when I’m writing.

So much has happened this last year.

My son, got involved with drugs and very bad people.  With his actions, I myself, turned into someone I didn’t like.

I’m a strong-willed woman. Over the years raising my son, I had to toughen up.  Little did I know that when he became grown, life became tougher.

I’ve begged and pleaded with him to go for counseling.  There are support groups out there for people like him. I almost had him convinced until he got himself arrested.  He spent a couple of weeks in jail. Needless to say when he was released he didn’t want to talk about support groups or any type of structured organizations that would stress making a change in his life.

My son had been coming home in the wee hours of the morning stoned/drunk. He’d wake me up and be very verbally abusive. Me, being as tough as I am would sit still for any type of abuse.

So, out came my club. Yes, my club.  It got ugly and I don’t really want to get into what happened [on numerous occasions] let’s just say the police were called. I called the police and they threatened to arrest me!

One night my son came home around 4’oclock in the morning. He had been beaten up. I couldn’t get him to go to emergency so, I wound up nursing him.

That was the turning point for him. He got tired of being jumped by very nasty people.

He said “Mom, I just don’t seem to be able to get along with people” All I could do was look at him.  He finally understood that his personality and his condition tends to make life hard on him.

There’s more to our story but I want to go on and post some thoughts from a website I found.

The website is called Adult ADD Strengths.

In short it talks about 10 Ways to Manage Adult ADHD

  1. ADHD Coaching.
  2. ADHD Medication.
  3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  4. ADHD Support Groups
  5. Adequate Diet
  6. Exercise
  7. Learning to Slow down and Stop
  8. Meditation
  9. Tutors or Educational Psychologists
  10. Professional Business and Personal Help

Right now my son is attending school. I was thrilled when he himself went and enrolled.  I’ll be posting more of my adventures now that he’s gone in the evenings.

So, stay tuned for more.

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For Distraught Parents…

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything so, please forgive my lag on writing. It seems I’ve been naughty not writing in any of my blogs this month.

I just received a comment from a distraught mother of a two year old wild man! I feel her pain. If she reads this, please know that there is help out there for you.

I’d start with your son’s doctor. Take him and and have the doctor evaluate your little dynamo. If your doctor seems reluctant demand that he/she refers you to a specialist or psychiatrist.

I’d also want family therapy, especially if you’ve got more than one child.

What people don’t understand is that this one little child disrupts the whole family structure.

Really, think about it — if you’ve got more than one child, [let’s say you have four kids] one kid with ADHD can make the other children feel as if they’re outcasts.

Why, because with an ADHD kid, they demand all, if not most, of their parent’s attention. With one child getting most of the attention it’s safe to say that the other children will feel left out. Therefore, it’s IMPERATIVE that the parent(s) get help. Over on my sidebar ===> there’s a partial list of online help.

Sometimes even a spouse will feel left out. Not only will they feel left out, they’ll be angry at the other spouse and the child. This is another reason why the family as a whole needs professional help. Get that help NOW!

In this day and age the computer and the Internet are wonderful tools but, nothing replaces one on one professional help.

I can’t emphasize how important getting help for your special child is. If you don’t get help while they’re young, you’ll wind up living the nightmare I’m living.

I have a 27 year old man living with me who’s hard to handle. Yes, he’s my son and I dearly love him but, there are times when I don’t like him. He still throws things and pesters everything that has breath.

People don’t like dealing with him because he’s irritatingly busy. His favorite past time is to play tricks on people. If I’m in the shower he’ll sneak into my bedroom and sabotage my bed or my cell phone. He’s ALWAYS doing something that drives me nuts.

I’ll reiterate, if you’ve got a child like this get help NOW!

I’ve got no people.

Please pardon the pun I’ve taken from the tax commercial, I just couldn’t help myself.

There’s nothing that can be more lonely or isolating than being a parent with an ADHD child.

I’ve said it before, it’s vital that parents like this must have a support system outside of family and the established friendship setup.

When you have an ADHD child you quickly learn who your true friends are and yes, this includes family.

When Drew was growing up, our experience with family and friends was a nightmare. Not many of our family members and friends could understand or would try to understand Drew’s disability.

Yes, Drew was wild, I mean he was literally the Tasmanian Devil personified. When people saw us coming they immediately remembered that they had something else to do or there was somewhere they had to be. Continue reading

It’s been days

since I’ve posted here in this blog. My apologies to all. I’ve got 3 other blogs I attend to and business has picked up a bit.

Sometimes I find it hard to write my thoughts with my son around. He still insists that I give him my undivided attention.

It’s hard for me to deal with him. I look at him and see a 26 year old man who acts pubescent.

“Mom, mom, what are you doing?” “Mom, I’m hungry, cook me something” “Mom, where are you going?” “Mom bring home some candy and chips”

He’s wearing on my nerves! He has this look in his eye as if he’s seeing an alien when he talks to me.

I’ll be back to post more about his exploits later.

Some HOW, make time for yourself!

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Photo by Dominik Gwarek

Never in a million years did I think that time was a precious commodity. Time, time for myself! what was that?

Some days, I’d have to work 10 – 12 hour days then, come home and do the parent thing. When was there time for me? Time to take a quiet soak in a bubble bath, or sit down and read poetry or a book by my favorite fiction writer. I had to wait years for the luxury of quiet time.

Quiet time! Don’t make me laugh! All parents of ADHD kids know that the words quiet or the phrase — time for ones self, isn’t synonymous with an ADHD child. Especially a single parent dealing with this tedious situation. If there are two parents in the household, each one should make sure that the other can take time-outs to gather their thoughts — [so to speak] mentally leave the planet for a while.

I didn’t have that luxury. During Drew’s adolescent years, I couldn’t leave him home alone so, a baby sitter was needed. [Frankly, even when he became a teenager I didn’t want to leave him home alone, I’d never know if the house would be left standing when I did. Of course having a baby sitter for a teenager was out of the question so, I naturally, had to take my chances.]

There was only me to carry the load. I’d work all day [night] at the Post Office then come home to take care of my busy little mister. There were times when I couldn’t find the time to sleep. Continue reading

Can you socialize a wildman?

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You can? Well, I wish someone would tell me how! Time’s tick, tick, ticking away!
Even Tarzan could be socialized. Although Tarzan was a fictional character, the thought was there, how to socialize someone brought up by apes.

That’s how I felt when I’d take Drew out to a restaurant or to the library, people would look at him and me as if we were a family of apes.

Do you know what it’s like to be in a restaurant and have someone at a table next to you with a child that’s talking loud and banging the forks, and spoons against the plates and glasses? It’s embarrassing!

There were times I wanted to scream “HE’S not a BAD kid, he’s just BUSY! or “I’m not a bad mother, just taxed to the hilt!” Continue reading