For Distraught Parents…

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything so, please forgive my lag on writing. It seems I’ve been naughty not writing in any of my blogs this month.

I just received a comment from a distraught mother of a two year old wild man! I feel her pain. If she reads this, please know that there is help out there for you.

I’d start with your son’s doctor. Take him and and have the doctor evaluate your little dynamo. If your doctor seems reluctant demand that he/she refers you to a specialist or psychiatrist.

I’d also want family therapy, especially if you’ve got more than one child.

What people don’t understand is that this one little child disrupts the whole family structure.

Really, think about it — if you’ve got more than one child, [let’s say you have four kids] one kid with ADHD can make the other children feel as if they’re outcasts.

Why, because with an ADHD kid, they demand all, if not most, of their parent’s attention. With one child getting most of the attention it’s safe to say that the other children will feel left out. Therefore, it’s IMPERATIVE that the parent(s) get help. Over on my sidebar ===> there’s a partial list of online help.

Sometimes even a spouse will feel left out. Not only will they feel left out, they’ll be angry at the other spouse and the child. This is another reason why the family as a whole needs professional help. Get that help NOW!

In this day and age the computer and the Internet are wonderful tools but, nothing replaces one on one professional help.

I can’t emphasize how important getting help for your special child is. If you don’t get help while they’re young, you’ll wind up living the nightmare I’m living.

I have a 27 year old man living with me who’s hard to handle. Yes, he’s my son and I dearly love him but, there are times when I don’t like him. He still throws things and pesters everything that has breath.

People don’t like dealing with him because he’s irritatingly busy. His favorite past time is to play tricks on people. If I’m in the shower he’ll sneak into my bedroom and sabotage my bed or my cell phone. He’s ALWAYS doing something that drives me nuts.

I’ll reiterate, if you’ve got a child like this get help NOW!

I’ve got no people.

Please pardon the pun I’ve taken from the tax commercial, I just couldn’t help myself.

There’s nothing that can be more lonely or isolating than being a parent with an ADHD child.

I’ve said it before, it’s vital that parents like this must have a support system outside of family and the established friendship setup.

When you have an ADHD child you quickly learn who your true friends are and yes, this includes family.

When Drew was growing up, our experience with family and friends was a nightmare. Not many of our family members and friends could understand or would try to understand Drew’s disability.

Yes, Drew was wild, I mean he was literally the Tasmanian Devil personified. When people saw us coming they immediately remembered that they had something else to do or there was somewhere they had to be. Continue reading

Some HOW, make time for yourself!

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Photo by Dominik Gwarek

Never in a million years did I think that time was a precious commodity. Time, time for myself! what was that?

Some days, I’d have to work 10 – 12 hour days then, come home and do the parent thing. When was there time for me? Time to take a quiet soak in a bubble bath, or sit down and read poetry or a book by my favorite fiction writer. I had to wait years for the luxury of quiet time.

Quiet time! Don’t make me laugh! All parents of ADHD kids know that the words quiet or the phrase — time for ones self, isn’t synonymous with an ADHD child. Especially a single parent dealing with this tedious situation. If there are two parents in the household, each one should make sure that the other can take time-outs to gather their thoughts — [so to speak] mentally leave the planet for a while.

I didn’t have that luxury. During Drew’s adolescent years, I couldn’t leave him home alone so, a baby sitter was needed. [Frankly, even when he became a teenager I didn’t want to leave him home alone, I’d never know if the house would be left standing when I did. Of course having a baby sitter for a teenager was out of the question so, I naturally, had to take my chances.]

There was only me to carry the load. I’d work all day [night] at the Post Office then come home to take care of my busy little mister. There were times when I couldn’t find the time to sleep. Continue reading

Can you socialize a wildman?

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You can? Well, I wish someone would tell me how! Time’s tick, tick, ticking away!
Even Tarzan could be socialized. Although Tarzan was a fictional character, the thought was there, how to socialize someone brought up by apes.

That’s how I felt when I’d take Drew out to a restaurant or to the library, people would look at him and me as if we were a family of apes.

Do you know what it’s like to be in a restaurant and have someone at a table next to you with a child that’s talking loud and banging the forks, and spoons against the plates and glasses? It’s embarrassing!

There were times I wanted to scream “HE’S not a BAD kid, he’s just BUSY! or “I’m not a bad mother, just taxed to the hilt!” Continue reading

No! Not the Roof!

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For those of you who haven’t a clue what it’s like to raise a child with ADD/ADHD read this.

It was two or three o’clock in the morning. The house was quiet and serene or so I thought.

[Now bear with me, I’ll soon get to the title of this piece.]

At age eight, Drew’s bedtime was nine o’clock. [With children like Drew, consistency is a must, as a matter of fact it’s vital for a parent’s sanity.] I’d set his bedtime at nine when in reality, I started the process at seven-thirty.

See, this is how the process went; at seven-thirty, I’d say James (Drew) it’s time to start getting ready for bed. He’d look at me and grin then, head out the back door towards the swing set or head up to the neighbor’s house. Mind you, kids like him are in full throttle, they’re speedsters and hard to catch. Continue reading

Oh Please! Do shut up!

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I was surfing along the web when I came upon this great website ADHD Websites and article.

The title of the article: ADHD – Do People Tell you to Shut Up?

–Something about ADHD that can become a real problem is asking too many questions. We just do it sometimes, and we don’t even stop to realize that we sometimes annoy people. But when we do realize it, we still have a tendency to continue asking because we’re certain that we don’t know enough. Why does this happen? Because we have a tendency to be insecure.– Read more of the article at the link above.

This writer is dead on spot with his observations. My son is insecure because he heard the words “shut up” much to often.

Those of us who have and know ADHD children and adults know exactly what he means. Continue reading

Poop everywhere!or the wall that wouldn’t move.

I just read a blog by a mother of an ADHD boy. It was a younger boy of course but she wrote of how he’d pooped his pants and when she finally got to him he’d had poop EVERYWHERE! Oh boy! did that bring back memories.

All I could say is; been there, done that — poop here, poop there, poop hair, poop everywhere. I hate to tell her but, with a child like this, poop-o-sphere will be the least of her worries.

Drew’s ADHD became noticeable when he became school age. I know, I know, you’re thinking — yeah, these teachers wanted to medicate a normal active little boy [at least that’s the feed back I received] — but that isn’t how it happened. Continue reading