Some HOW, make time for yourself!


Photo by Dominik Gwarek

Never in a million years did I think that time was a precious commodity. Time, time for myself! what was that?

Some days, I’d have to work 10 – 12 hour days then, come home and do the parent thing. When was there time for me? Time to take a quiet soak in a bubble bath, or sit down and read poetry or a book by my favorite fiction writer. I had to wait years for the luxury of quiet time.

Quiet time! Don’t make me laugh! All parents of ADHD kids know that the words quiet or the phrase — time for ones self, isn’t synonymous with an ADHD child. Especially a single parent dealing with this tedious situation. If there are two parents in the household, each one should make sure that the other can take time-outs to gather their thoughts — [so to speak] mentally leave the planet for a while.

I didn’t have that luxury. During Drew’s adolescent years, I couldn’t leave him home alone so, a baby sitter was needed. [Frankly, even when he became a teenager I didn’t want to leave him home alone, I’d never know if the house would be left standing when I did. Of course having a baby sitter for a teenager was out of the question so, I naturally, had to take my chances.]

There was only me to carry the load. I’d work all day [night] at the Post Office then come home to take care of my busy little mister. There were times when I couldn’t find the time to sleep.

When I worked the night shift, I’d get off at 7 in the morning and had to go pick Drew up from the baby-sitter’s house. Baby sitting was very expensive and I couldn’t afford to pay the sitter extra hours so I could get some sleep.

Those days were interesting. I remember one day, in particular, I had picked Drew up from the sitter’s after working all night. I told myself that I was going to stay up until it was time to go to bed [I was off for the next couple of days]. This is when I broke one of my first and most important rules: don’t lie to yourself!

We were home and I had decided to let the t.v. baby sit Drew. I put Drew’s favorite movie into the VCR [Superman, we had the whole series] He seemed happy to watch and recite every line the actors were saying.

Well, I fell asleep, big mistake, big, Big, BIG mistake. While I was sleeping, Drew decided to help Mommy by cleaning the kitchen. He attempted to wash the dishes [I had to wash them over] but the catastrophe was that he decided to wash the kitchen floor.

Drew squirted dish soap on the floor then took a dust mop, not a mop, a dust mop and spread the soap all over the floor.

He came to me and woke me up to tell me he was hungry and to tell me that he helped me by cleaning the kitchen.

I got up and went into the kitchen. I took two steps onto the floor then, all of a sudden, both my feet became level with my eyes and I hit the floor.

I laid there, just laid there looking up at the ceiling. I remember asking God, “am I going to live through this” I wanted someone, something, ANYTHING, to take me away!

This was one of those times that I’d wish his Dad was around, to at least distract him, keep him busy so I could do things in peace. But, that wasn’t an option, his father wasn’t/isn’t ADHD but he’s pretty worthless and would have been then too.

Parents of ADHD children need help there’s no doubt about that. They/we, need time regenerate our minds and bodies.

I didn’t find that time until Drew was in school and I had my off days on those days. I remember Thursdays being my one off day. I’d get Drew off to school then it would be MY time.

I’d take a long hot bubble bath. I’d get a cool drink and get a book. Then I’d climb into the tub and just stay there!

Back when my son was a child there were no support groups. If you didn’t have family or friends to help then, you were out of luck like I was.

Now there are support groups and people are more educated when it comes to ADD/ADHD. These groups are full of parents and professionals who can give advice on how to handle your overly active child and give ideas on finding time to yourself.

I found this web site HealthyPlace, that gives tips on dealing with these hard to handle children.

  1. One Thing At A time!
  3. A firm routine
  4. Establish a behavior modification plan.
  5. Get support.

From my experience, getting support is of the utmost importance. I didn’t have that! If I had, I believe things for my son and I would have turned out different.

Some support groups:


The Parent Advocate Site

The Wild Child

Special Education Law

Coaching, For Parents

If you find yourself in the same situation as I was get help! These days there’s no excuse not to be able to find help. You deserve that special quality quiet time. If you have that, things will be better for you and your child.

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