No! Not the Roof!

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For those of you who haven’t a clue what it’s like to raise a child with ADD/ADHD read this.

It was two or three o’clock in the morning. The house was quiet and serene or so I thought.

[Now bear with me, I’ll soon get to the title of this piece.]

At age eight, Drew’s bedtime was nine o’clock. [With children like Drew, consistency is a must, as a matter of fact it’s vital for a parent’s sanity.] I’d set his bedtime at nine when in reality, I started the process at seven-thirty.

See, this is how the process went; at seven-thirty, I’d say James (Drew) it’s time to start getting ready for bed. He’d look at me and grin then, head out the back door towards the swing set or head up to the neighbor’s house. Mind you, kids like him are in full throttle, they’re speedsters and hard to catch.

Needless to say, I’d be out the back door after him, yelling for him to come back, all the while, he’s running and giggling because he thinks the chase is fun!

Eventually, I’d catch him, grab him by the arm and drag him back to the house. We’d get into the house and I’d have to lock ALL the doors and keep hold of him.

His next tactic was to ask for a snack, he’d want potato chips or candy or a piece of cake or ice-cream. [Back then, I didn’t grasp that diet was an important part of controlling ADHD.] This particular time, he settled for potato chips and a cup of koolaide.

Finally, I got him into the bathroom to take a bath. At age eight or nine they don’t want their Moms giving them a bath so, I left him in the bathroom to bath himself not knowing that Muffin, our one cat, had also gone in to keep him company, oh boy! big mistake, BIG MISTAKE.

I was next door in my room and heard this loud scratching commotion and a plaintive meow. I ran into the bath room and found Drew stuffing poor Muffin down the laundry chute along with his dirty clothes [this is why I say, pets and ADHD kids aren’t a good mix]. I rescued the cat and finally got him bathed.

Nine o’clock comes, he’s in his pjs and I get him into bed. Most parents go back downstairs to the living room to relax, watch a little t.v. or read and wind down after they put the children to bed, well, not in my case. Drew’s bedtime was also my bedtime or I’d be running up and down the stairs four and five times. So, my solution was to go to bed myself and watch t.v..

After an hour of Drew talking or asking me questions from his bedroom, he’d finally drift off to sleep. I knew he’d be asleep because he’d stop talking and stop moving. Then, it was time for me to relax and finally fall asleep.

You’d think that would be it for the night…right? Guess again!

One night about two o’clock in the morning I heard this noise in the bathroom. See, our bathroom window was situated over the roof of our kitchen eating area. Any way, that one night, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into our bathroom window.

I got up and went to the bathroom to check and see what was going on and found the window screen was out laying on the floor. I went to the window and found Drew out on the roof just sitting there!

Do you know what it felt like finding my eight year old on the roof? My heart stopped! I got him to come back into the house. I asked him what was he doing out on the roof. He told me “I’m protecting the house Mommy, there are bad people in the neighborhood so, I’m protecting the house”

This story is one of many dealing with my ADHD child. I like many wonder what goes on in the mind of an ADD/ADHD person.

I found another ADHD diary, this time by a Dad who may be ADHD himself. He wrote the best analogy I’ve ever read on the mind of an ADHD person:

Ever watch someone playing a pinball game?
Notice how the ball suddenly flies from the bottom of the board, to the
top then flings to the side and up a ramp and then stops suddenly in a
hole only to then be tossed back out and eventually comes to rest after
sneaking by the bottom flippers?
Read More

He’s absolutely right, their minds are in a perpetual bounce … boing, boing, boing!
The bouncing never stops. Like the energizer bunny it keeps going and going and….

More to come…

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2 Responses

  1. I have a 16 yr old son with ADHD and i’m a single mom. I hate to come home after work because i know something has not been done or he has messed up the house, has not done anything all day long, or has not finished homework. I feel like i just hate him sometimes and i have been acting very nasty and mean towards him because i just wish he were different. One of the only times we get along great is when i’m not requiring anything from him and we are just having “fun” but as soon as i need him to be responsible or take on a project like washing the dishes, all hell breaks loose.. Another thing that kills me is that he doesn’t see what he does wrong. I am always the bad guy and then he runs to my parents that will overturn my decisions that i make for him and totally goes against what i have said. He is going to 10th grade and I just pray that I am not taking care of him at 26!!!!! I wish he was diffrent, and i know that isn’t fair because who said that i was so wonderful? He has such a great personality however and when i treat him mean, he just let’s it roll off his back like a duck and still sees the bright side of things!! At my expense ofcourse…. I just don’t know…Oh and I also know that I have adhd, so dealing with him and then my own struggles with the condition is unbareable. Because i know what it takes to create a pattern that will help with the disease and then he not listen to a word i say is like he is not doing the little that he can do to help himself….. i think there is something else wrong with him too as he misses alot of social cues. He is not liked by kids his age and he comes across as simiple or goofy. I love him, but I can’t wait until he is out of here!!!!! I know that is mean!!!! I’M SORRY

  2. Hi! Dee,
    My son is 26 year old and has ADHD. I have spend many days and nights in situations like yours. No they do not grow out of it!
    They need medication and/or develop self awareness.
    It took my family and I all our energy and time to keep my son safe, accidents were and are he specialty! They have a one track mine! I experience the roof, the speed, the jumping and the electricity moments!
    Even when I try to stay 3 steps ahead of him, mentally. But they are sweet, very intellegent and caring. Do not give up!
    Lily

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