Oh Please! Do shut up!


I was surfing along the web when I came upon this great website ADHD Websites and article.

The title of the article: ADHD – Do People Tell you to Shut Up?

–Something about ADHD that can become a real problem is asking too many questions. We just do it sometimes, and we don’t even stop to realize that we sometimes annoy people. But when we do realize it, we still have a tendency to continue asking because we’re certain that we don’t know enough. Why does this happen? Because we have a tendency to be insecure.– Read more of the article at the link above.

This writer is dead on spot with his observations. My son is insecure because he heard the words “shut up” much to often.

Those of us who have and know ADHD children and adults know exactly what he means.

I’m sorry if this offends anyone’s social sensibilities but, if I could have a penny for every time I’ve told Drew to “shut up” I’d be a wealthy woman right now.

This young man of mine can talk and talk and TALK! Sometimes it’s a wonder he can breathe.

We speak English, we speak articulate English but when Drew’s motor is in fifth gear, it sounds as if he’s speaking a foreign language.

I mean; you’ve heard people who speak Spanish, or Arabic, or French; you hear how fast they talk. You hear the words and sentences running together as if a murderer’s chasing them. Well, that’s how it is for Drew and he’s speaking American English!

I have to look at him and say “slow down, repeat what you’ve just said.” Not only do I have to ask once but, twice maybe three times.

Now that he’s an adult, he gets angry because I or someone else can’t understand him.

I remember, when he was about seven or eight, we went grocery shopping. This was the usual time he felt he had to tell me everything that was going on in his life.

We were walking down the isle and his mouth was machine gunning his information to me. There was a lady coming down the opposite direction, she had two children with her; they stopped and looked at us with their mouths dropped to the floor. They couldn’t believe that someone could rattle on at break neck speed like he was.

The mother looked at me and asked “does he always talk like that?” I said “yes, indeed he does.” She looked at me and gave me her condolences then, walked away.

Things haven’t changed. Drew is twenty-seven years old and when he gets upset or excited about something his mouth rat-ta-tat-tats and there are no survivors.

ADHD effects people in different ways especially adults. Some physically move all the time. Their internal motor is so revved up that they stay hot and want the windows open, even in the dead of winter [like a woman with hot-flashes]

Yet, others, like Drew, will yack, yack, yack like a interfering mother-in-law who doesn’t want you to get a word in edge-wise.

Thinking back, I wish that instead of telling him to shut up, I said “breathe, just breathe”

Words and phrases do hurt and shut up is one of those phrases.

If anyone reading this has young ADHD children please, please, PLEASE erase the phrase SHUT UP from your vocabulary, it’s destructive. I’m living through the destruction as I write this.


2 Responses

  1. Good luck to you and thanks so much for stopping by.

  2. It is sooooo true. One of our adoptive kiddos is very much ADHD and it got him kicked out of several schools before we adopted him. His ability to motormouth was such a problem in large groups….at first. Now I am homeschooling him (have been since kindergarten when we got him & now he’s in 3rd) & he is doing great. I am actually working on a blog entry now about how we deal with it. At any rate, sounds like your kiddo is blessed to have a momma that cares….. God bless! Spring

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